You can update addons when they are deactivated. Also, you can delete them and download the new version of each addon from your account page.

The only way to notify administrators about a new update in Dashboard is this, and we've done it:

Other information were added in the release summary in the update instruction ind in wordpress.org changelog .

I see that the disaster is the automatic-update, which is not intuitive. The automatic update should never do that if the version change is major. It should never update from 1.x.x to 2.x.x automatically, this is a big issue of WordPress core. On the other hand, you should never turn on the automatic update for large plugins like forum plugin or shop.

So, since my license for the addon is just 9 weeks old AND my wpFORO is already updated to version 2.0.2, I really don't want to back out the wpFORO update in order to update the addon first (as your update instruction would indicate).  What is the process for updating the addon AFTER wpFORO is updated?

By the way, your warning and update instruction is dated Aug 3 and the wpFORO plug-in auto-update occurred by Wordpress the same day.  That's hardly a forewarning. 

You are doing a major update, why not just spend 10-20 seconds to read the update instruction before doing such a large update?

It's clearly mentioned in the release summary, in the update changelog and in the update instruction that old addons are not compatible with wpForo v2, you should update addons to 3.0.x verion before updating wpForo to 2.0.x.

Now, just update your addon to the latest 3.0.0 version and all will be ok.